semester over -- I'll never get to big for my britches!

Last Sunday, 10:00 in the morning, I declared the semester over! Finished!! Completed!!! It is now Tuesday morning and I am wondering what to do with myself. The ending of it all wan't without its own brand of terror, though. All computer/software related. It is really irritating to know that all these little steps of getting the computer to do what it is supposed to do, are already mastered by elementary school children. I mean, it is really, really irritating. My level of understanding is very evident in my voacbulary. I am still at/with -- "it," and, primarily, "thingamajig."

Anyway, the current frustration all started with my having finished the last semester's paper -- the one for Qualitative Analysis. We were supposed to post our paper on Blackboard, number the pages, but leave off #1 on the first page. Well! I didn't know how to do that so I called Linda Fernandez to help. She said, "No problem," just email my paper to her and we would get it fixed on the spot. So, I did -- and, we did. Or, rather, Linda did. All I needed to do then, was create my Table of Contents, which would show up with a #2 on its page.

Following Linda's instructions, I could then post my paper. This was Saturday night. Well! The final product, remember, was captured in the email to Linda. The original unfinished, non-numbered paper was in "My Documents." It is when the paper is in this spot -- where it is supposed to be -- that I know how to post from Blackboard. Somehow or another, I was supposed to get the finished paper that was captured in Linda's email to "My Documents." Well! I couldn't do that. "It" kept telling me "it" was already there. When I tried to trick the computer and rename the file, "it" still kept telling me "it" was already there. Now it was both the computer and elementary school children that are smarter than me.

As it got later and I got more tired and frustrated, I became fearful that I would, not-so-very-gently, hit the wrong button and erase my paper. So, I made the decision to call it a night, emailed Linda that we did not have lift-off, and I would call her in the morning again seeking help. Well! That computer kept me awake until after mid-night.

O.K. It is Sunday. New day and new attitude. Actually, it is what you might call, fake it until you make it. Went for a long run, came home, bathed, shampooed my hair, and got into my "fighting-I'm-gonna-win-this-round," clothes. Called Linda. She led me throught the steps of getting "it" over to "there." I had added a paragraph to the original, non-finished paper that was sitting in "My Documents," which also required an addition to the reference page. I just can't stop fiddling with my writing. It is never finished and I can always think of new and different ways of saying things. Anyway, this required Linda leading me through the process of "copy and paste." Well! By 10:00, it was a done deal. Posted. You would think one by-product of all this intense stress would be loss of appetite with the reward of weight loss. No way, Jimmy Joe. It was munchy, munchy, munchy, until the end of the ordeal.

This is the end of the story. You would think I would feel better with mission accomplished. But, that state of well-being can't quite come over me because I can't remember anything Linda taught me. That's what anxiety will do to you. It's a memory stealer -- that's for sure.